Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Part one - colors

Let me start today with a simple wish, or a wish seemingly simple...

I wish, to someday feel so strongly, that it is my right eye that tears up first.

To simplify, I want to be happy, in fact, so happy that I tear up(your left eye tears up first when you are sad, the right eye, when you are happy).

So, I was sitting this evening, a little morose and a little pensive, feeling low and petty to say the least. I had just realized I wanted to be really happy! Not strange, not unusual, definitely not impossible. So what was it that was stopping me? Why is it that every emotion only touches me, us... only superficially?

Even as I asked myself these questions, I knew where the answer lay and i knew what was stopping me, and why this is going to be a tough road. i was hiding behind the many masks and skins that we don, at the moment, it was fear, procrastination, maybe weakness, ego, or all of them.

The masks, that hold me back. That prevent me from seeing red in anger, hatred, love; the white, blue and green in peace, the yellows and oranges in joy and confidence, the black in despair. The masks, I wore to shield myself from cruelty, are blurring colors, the picture I paint.

Maybe it is time to be a little vulnerable, and just ,maybe, it is okay to get hurt, if the canvass is going to be sharp and beautiful.

Being strong, being vulnerable and finding my way to my true colors!


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